Susan Layton

Creating videos gives me an opportunity to share music with many people in a different way than they may have experienced it before.  Each video has cost me a different amount of money, depending on my videographer, the location I shoot, the number of people in the video, and so forth.  Although I want to make a living performing, it hasn’t happened yet.  At one point, I thought if I could put together a fundraiser, then I could create more videos in less time, and perhaps make that transition sooner than later.  I did a lot of research on how much each video should cost, including location fees, videographer fees, etc.  I had to calculate into my fundraising goal the fundraising site fees as well.  I set the online fundraiser up and push the green button to make it public, dreaming and hoping of great success.  During this time, I struggled with serious self doubt, depression, and other emotional baggage.  It was a very difficult time for me.  I had been dealing with depression in small bouts before I began the fundraiser but as my fundraiser progressed, it became clear, in my eyes, that I truly was a failure.  ‘Failure’ was evident with the very little money being donated to this cause .  Regardless of the desire and passion I had to make this a success, this project was of no value and I was of no value.  It was dark for me, even though I wanted to be enrobed in the heavenly light, with money pouring in.  As I began to heal from this terrible depression, I learned that the money doesn’t define me.  Whether I got millions or nothing, I was of value.  What I offer as a performer is of great value.  I began to look at comments from my videos, think about conversations I’ve had with people all over the world, the feeling that is present when I perform, and then the number of ‘shares’ that each video has had and even this fundraiser.  What I offer is of great value.  I am of great value.  This project doesn’t define me.  Money raised doesn’t define me.  Although that fundraiser did not hit its mark, nor even close to it, I have to say it was a success, in a different way than I expected.  The fundraiser got a lot of exposure.  A few private donations came filtering through.  And I found out who I am. That was, perhaps, the success I needed to have at that time.  Each of those were blessings, but understanding my value, my worth was I needed most at that time.  Of course, I pray more will come.  More videos, more money, more success.  For now, I will keep making videos with the budget and time that I have.  Through it all, I’m grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that knows what I need, when I need it, and lets me learn it, even the hard way!… sometimes that’s the only way!  Smile.

Here was the footage from my fundraising campaign.  🙂

(Sorry the file was too big, so it’s broken up into 6 parts.)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Whatever you do in life, whatever your passion is, whatever your goals, don’t ever feel like you are not good enough.  You are.  You were made to be great.  If you feel like you are of no value, find a professional counselor, a trusted friend, a church leader, and learn who you are.  Work, success, money, or anything of the like, should not define you.  Being you is the only thing you should worry about.  Because that defines you.  And you are of worth, no matter what!

The making of “Come, Come, Ye Saints” was a beautiful, humbling, and spiritual process. I did see miracles come as I was willing to listen to the Lord’s will. He was my director, I’d guess you’d say, so I just had to listen and go to work. So I wanted to share with you how this all worked out…

As you all know, I wanted to film this big production style. I wanted to film on a trek, with handcarts, costumes, and a lot of people! That’s how it could be awesome! I had arranged a trek visit and started getting everything under way. And then TWO days and a few hours before Pioneer Day, my husband said, “You gotta film this sooner than later!” I told him there was no way to do this right, that soon. He said, “You really need to think about it!” So I did pray about it. Basically I said, “can you believe this guy??! There’s no way to do it right, that soon! No way…. Right?!” Well, let’s just say I felt I needed to do it. But I came back and said that I’d do it but I’d need help. I didn’t want to put out something I couldn’t be happy with.
So that night we started cutting up old sheets trying to make aprons and piecing together pioneer-like clothing. In the morning I’d go to a place I was confident would have bonnets. But still, going to bed I was a little discouraged. I just continued to pray that all would come together.
The next morning, we were ready to head out for the bonnets but I felt I needed to go to my friends house first -who I had arranged to use her trek dress, apron and bonnet for myself. So I went over and she grabbed a big duffle bag and started filling it with aprons, dresses, petticoats, a vest, bonnets, a swindle, tin toy, shoes, and few other time-period treasures! I was overwhelmed with her generosity and the blessings already flowing. We had everything we needed. 

That night we got ready and headed out. The first location didn’t work so well… But that’s where we found the animal bones. So that was neat. The second place was THE place!
So we began filming, we had to work out a few details, change the storyline a bit, against my desire, ha, but I did it. We finished the night with good footage but it wasn’t to the point I was happy with. So headed home, I was yet again discouraged with only one day left, thinking, “HOW is this possible?!” I didn’t sleep well that night, just praying for guidance.
I was tired the next day so I decided I deserved a nap that day… Unfortunately, I couldn’t sleep then either… But thoughts came to me of what I needed to do, where I could go to get the things I should use and the umph to keep going. So I got up and went where I felt to go and there I found the things that would make this video what I wanted it to be. Again, I felt humbled and grateful! 

I went home and practiced and practiced, fine tuning my marks and my interpretations.
We headed back to our location that evening and started to film. We still hit a few bumps but each time we got closer and closer. Afraid the sun would go down and ruin our takes, we went faster and faster… And then my baby needed to go potty. So my husband took him home and we kept rolling. They got back and then the sun went down. But to our great surprise, the picture was better than any that we had shot before! We shot two more and the Spirit was so strong! After the last one was shot, the mosquitos came out in all their fury and we headed home.

The last shot was what we used. It was magical! It was humbling! I fought tears the rest of the night as we worked on the editing.
I am so grateful I let the Lord be my director. He knew more than I could have ever accomplished. I am grateful for this experience. Trusting Him will always come to this: “All is well!” That is true! “All is well!”

Nothing says the “Red, White and Blue” like “The Star Spangled Banner”!

What a treat it is to share my love of the United States of America with you than through our national anthem!

“God Bless Us, Everyone!”