Susan | Susan Layton

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‘Live Positive’ App

April 8, 2015 / Susan / Comments Off

App of the week: Live Positive – BillionClicks.org

I went out to lunch with Hilary Weeks, the smile and brains behind Live Positive – BillionClicks.org, a few weeks back and had a great time! We talked about performing, kids, husbands, her new adventures, my new adventures, Disneyland, and of course, “how many calories do you think that butter has?” Yes! Super serious! Ha. She is as real and genuine as she appeared to me over Facebook!

After our lunch, I thought I’d see what her app, Live Positive – BillionClicks.org, is all about. I am the kind that thinks, “I can do (whatever) without (whatever)” … So, here I was thinking, “I can ‘be positive’ without an ‘app'” … but I did want to give it a try, just to say I tried! I sat in my car and challenged myself to think of 20 things positive about myself. I realized my positivity level was not all what I cracked it up to be! I was hard on myself. I would think “I’m good at cleaning my house, well, no, not really because my dishes are still not done from last night” *hold that click* … “I am, well, no not really” *no click, keep thinking* … “I have a nice smile, well, oh my goodness! I got food in my teeth, oh, that’s great” *put down the phone! Was that there when I was visiting with Hilary?!* … I realized that the “yeah, but not really” ‘s about myself and life were really stacked up high against me! I needed help being positive! So sitting in my car, I decided I wasn’t going anywhere till I hit my 20. I sat there for 45 minutes! Wow, I quickly realized I NEEDED this app! And I have used it everyday since! I first focus on myself: my positive traits, personality, my strengths, abilities, things I’ve accomplished, and then I think of positive things around me: my kids, my home, my family. I find my days are full of life, happiness, more positivity, and are so much more meaningful, because I am training myself to be more positive.

One day, I was particularly hard on myself and feeling down. I got out my Live Positive – BillionClicks.org app and said, “Dang it! I am good at, at …. *searching around my room* …. at hanging up my belt!!!” And I stomped over and grabbed my belt and hung it up! *CLICK!* Then I thought of some other things that I “can do” and did it and clicked. It took several of those and then I said, “See! I accomplish! and I am proud of myself!” *CLICK!* Boy, was that a rough day for me! Really, looking back, those were silly things (although at the time they were real struggles and real accomplishments!). This app kept me going. I needed the click – I needed to find the positive!

Everyday, I click! It is easier for me to see the bright side of things, of people, and especially of myself. I LOVE the Live Positive – BillionClicks.org!

Think positive! Live positive!

“Oh Lord, My Redeemer” in ASL – How it came to be…

April 4, 2015 / Susan / Comments Off

In 2013, “Oh Lord, My Redeemer” was a song that my sister, Sarah, suggested we perform at an event. At the time of our discussion, I thought I had never heard this song before. But she began playing it, not only did it bring back faint memories of the song, but also tears to my eyes. This was a piece I could see play out in my head. And for me, that is what it is all about. So Sarah, Stacie and I started to practice right away. For me to perform with the feelings I know I need to convey, I have to have the pauses, breaks, and even certain dynamics and feelings from the piano and vocals. I’m grateful Sarah and Stacie were sensitive to my needs as a visual performer.

We performed this piece several times over the following few months. Each time we performed this song, I had to be in the right frame of mind, and the be prepared, spiritually. I knew if I was not in a place mentally and spiritually, I wouldn’t be able to convey the message I wanted/needed to, and it wouldn’t be felt the way the song deserves. Mind you, being spiritually prepared, for me, meant am I in-tune with the Spirit? I knew it couldn’t be a last minute “give me the Spirit please” thing, cuz that never worked. And it never was “am I perfect today?” because … yeah, I’m just not perfect. But being prepared for the Spirit was crucial.

After that first time hearing the song, I knew “Oh Lord, My Redeemer” was on my ‘gotta film’ list! I wanted it done “the right way”. This song deserved the right setting! I wanted to film this in Jerusalem! I tried to earn funds through a Kickstarter campaign and I failed. Although I was devastated from this unsuccessful campaign, I wasn’t going to give up. I knew it wasn’t the end of it. The time would come. The place would come. I just kept praying and hoping and hoping and praying.

The process of getting the proper license to film this took SEVERAL months. It sometimes felt like I would go forward 2 steps, set back 5, and then forward 2 and back 5, again and again. But I didn’t want to give up. I was determined to figure out where I needed to go and somehow get the license to film “Oh Lord, My Redeemer”. Months went by. Then, I remember I had had a very rough week. I was really praying for certain blessings and peace. One particular day the following week, I received a phone call. It was Brother Jeff Goodrich. THE Jeff Goodrich! The very one who penned, “Oh Lord, My Redeemer”!!! He said, “I was going through my pile of papers on my desk and noticed your envelope. I received your envelope a few weeks ago but somehow things got piled up on it. But as I opened it and read your letter, I felt the Spirit very strong. Then, I watched your video. I knew I needed to call you, personally. I have no doubt that you will make a video that is pleasing to the Lord. There is always one thing I ask when someone uses my music and that is: to have the Spirit with them as they share what is sacred to me… and I have NO DOUBT that you will do just that! Please, use this song!” I was, honestly, speechless. I didn’t know what to say. I remember doing everything I could just to hold back the tears. The only thing I can remember saying was, “THANK YOU, BROTHER GOODRICH, THANK YOU!” I remember looking at the time after and saw he talked with me for 15 minutes. I thought, ME??? He talked with ME for 15 minutes? Wow. Looking back, I can’t recall what else was said. After we hung up, I wept and wept and wept some more. I could feel the loving arms of my Heavenly Father around me. As soon as I could stop crying for a moment, I shared this amazing moment with my hubby. Then I wept some more. Then I called my sister. And overwhelmed, I cried some more. And then my mother. And well into the day, I was still so very touched and grateful, I couldn’t hold back the tears of gratitude. I did, indeed, get the license!

Soon after I obtained the license to film this piece, Sarah and Stacie went in the studio to record the sound track. I could see it was coming together. But a year and a half went by and I still didn’t have a video, even on the calendar. I contacted Mark and said, “What do you think? Is it possible to get this filmed, edited and released in time for an Easter run? I really want you to film this. I know YOU would be able to create this story on film the way I see it in my head!” He said, “I really think we could!”

Time ticked on and our schedules just didn’t mesh. So I prayed harder. Ha. … I really did! … A couple of months later, he came to town and we started hashing out logistics. Oh, a happy day for sure!

I contacted the people I needed to for costumes and location. Those both fell through. I prayed harder and listened more. Then I received another email from one of the costume/location people. They gave me a possible lead for the costumes. And sure enough, this sweet lady, Kay, emailed me right back saying,

“Absolutely! When do you want to come get them?” Of course, I was just HOPING for a couple of costumes, and then if we didn’t have enough for everyone, we would share the costumes with each other, so all could be dressed time-appropriate in each scene. When I arrived into town the day before we started shooting, we met with Kay. She had everything we needed! These costumes were beautiful! She even had the costumes for the Roman soldiers! It was so HUMBLING to see the Lord’s hand in this!

Soon after we got the ‘okay’ for costumes, I began working on finding people to play the parts I needed in this video. Towns people, friends, soldiers, a woman, and a man. I was glad I knew many Deaf people in the Mesa area (where we would be filming). I contacted everyone I could think of. The part I could not get filled was that of the ‘woman by my side’. I kept praying who I could use. Do I use one of the women I would be using for the other parts? In my mind, I kept seeing a lady with strawberry blonde hair. Her facial features were distinct. Her hands were strong. She was humble with a strong spirit about her. I kept thinking to myself, why am I limiting myself to that description? But I just kept searching! So fast forward to the afternoon before we were to shoot. I went through every Facebook friend I had, emailing each as I went down the alphabet. None of which could do it. I finally got almost to the end of my list. I was feeling very humbled. I prayed and said to the Lord, “This is your video. I’m just the means to make it happen. But I can’t do this alone! I need this part filled! I don’t know who?!!” I felt the response, “Keep going.” So I kept going. And then there was Wenonah’s name. Wenonah. Could she? Would she be available? She would be amazing! I don’t want to get my hopes up. I prayed again. And then I texted her. She accepted for the moment. She had to check with her family to see if they’d be okay with it. I held my breath and kept praying. That afternoon, she texted back and said she could … and her family would come along too! I was overwhelmed with joy! How grateful I was for that message! Then the thought came to me again. A woman with strawberry blonde hair. Her features are distinct. Her hands are strong. This woman was humble with a strong spirit about her. That was Wenonah’s description exactly! I knew the Lord wanted her! … It still touches me today, thinking about this! It was a miracle!

Two nights before we were to shoot, Mark and I went through the storyboard again. I told him, “This is how I see it in my head. I know this was inspiration from the Lord. This is how we gotta do it!” He took careful note as I described each line. Each moment. Each scene. He could see it too. And he always says,”If I can see it, I can shoot it.” So, after fine-lining everything, I was confident we were gonna have a beautiful film.

The last thing we had to figure was the location. Not living there for some time, I couldn’t remember the whereabouts. I offered what I could think of and Mark thought of what he could. He called me with good news as I was driving to town. He got the place. Seeing it the next day, it was absolutely perfect!

Ya know, the only dates we had open to film was March 27th and 28th. And then all of a sudden, Mark’s schedule had a work commitment on those days that he could not get out of. I prayed and prayed to help us find a time to film. Our ‘Jesus’ was only available on March 20th and 21st. We just could not make it work. Then one day both my obligations for the 13th and 14th cancelled. I called Mark and he said his just cancelled for that same weekend too. His work commitments for the 20th and 21st got moved to another weekend, so he could come film our Resurrected Jesus scene the 20th and 21st near where I live. Oh, the excitement switch just got turned up to full blast!!! The only other thing we needed to figure out was who would play ‘Jesus’ while we are in Mesa, since our ‘Jesus’ wouldn’t be able to make it until the Resurrection part. We asked one of the missionaries in the area to play the mortal Jesus. He was willing! What a blessing! He brought the Spirit so beautifully to each part he played! And another blessing, to me, is that he was Deaf! These amazing miracles were a testament that heavenly hands were involved in this!

Thursday, March 13th
9:00pm: I drove into Mesa and met with Kay. We picked out all of the beautiful costumes.

Friday, March 14th
Day time: Mark and I stepped out each scene. Built a fire pit. Created the scene for the boy being raised from the dead. Shopped for props. Got the food.

5:00pm: Actors arrived. Had a devotional and ate pizza. Got dressed. Grabbed waters and snacks and it was time to shoot.

6:00pm: Shot the scenes: woman on the street, Golgotha, boy being raised from the dead.

9:00pm: Did a rough edit with the footage we shot. Decided which parts we needed to reshoot.

My favorite part of Friday was when we shot the scene with the boy being raised from the dead. There were only 8 of us in the room. The wind, which was very gusty that day, had calmed down. The sweet boy did exactly what we needed each time. As each of the people in the scene were Deaf, we had to coordinate each movement perfectly, to make it work. And it did. The Spirit was really strong. It was a sacred moment for sure!

Saturday, March 15th
I knew there was only one last shot at this. I knew what needed to be done, and I was feeling overwhelmed. I prayed and prayed hard!

Daytime: Filmed the intro parts. Walked out each scene again. Went over all instructions for actors again. Built the blind man’s shelter. Bought the food. Got the fire started ready for the hot dog dinner and the scene to follow.

4:30pm: Actors arrived. Had a devotional and hot dog dinner. Got dressed. Grabbed waters and ran to the first retake. The Spirit was really strong this night. For the reshoots, it took us one shot and a backup for ‘just in case’ each scene. Everyone was so focused. Then we shot the blind man’s scene and then off to the fire. Every part was so perfect. Everyone really had the “let’s do it!” hats on and followed direction perfectly. Like I said, the Spirit was strong!

It’s hard to choose a “favorite part” for this night. It ALL was my favorite! Like I said, the Spirit was strong, the actors were focused, they were spot-on each time! If I had to choose a part that was really special, it would be when we shot the blind man scene. We shot that three times. The first time, the timing wasn’t exactly right on some things. So after instruction, we did it again. The retake was SO TENDER! Both Mark and I shouted after that take, “WOW! THAT’S IT! SOOO PERFECT!” Wilson, the “blind man”, said he wanted to do it one more time! He wanted to finish the scene with a kiss to his love. So sweet! So we agreed to reshoot that! But, it was the second shot that what we used in the final video. It really was a very beautiful and tender moment!

We finished by 9:30pm. We were beat! So, we just packed up, and headed home for the night.

The next morning, I headed home. My heart was SO FULL! I was overwhelmed thinking of all the beautiful miracles I was allowed to witness, sweet blessings, tender mercies, loving people, the outpouring of the Spirit, and immense love of the Savior. I reflected on Jesus’ life, the miracles HE performed, the love HE has for each of us, for the great plan of happiness and my heart was full of gratitude! I plead to the Lord that this video would, in fact, share the beauty, the miracles, the love of our Savior! I prayed that those who would watch would feel closer to Him and feel of His great love for them. That’s all I wanted from this! ….

March 19th
Mark and Penny rolled into Southern Utah. We headed straight for the location that we were considering for the final scene. We wanted to reshoot some of the fire scenes on the evening of the 20th, and the resurrection scene on the 21st. So we found the places and waited so we could test the time/lighting to know exactly when we were going to shoot.

March 20th
7:00pm. It was time to shoot the establishing shot, so I called some of my peeps and enticed them with smores! Hehe. They were more than willing!… (With or without smores!) Smile. So we filmed the establishing shot and then worked on a couple of the fire reshots. Those, thank goodness, didn’t take too long. It was getting cold!

I was so happy for those reshots though, because a couple of my favorite parts of the video were shot that night.

March 21st
8:00am. Mark, Kelly, Shay (Resurrected Jesus), my daughter (mini photographer) and I met at the rock, ready for this final scene. Shay was perfect! We shot the scene a couple of times and I was just not feeling it. We kept going, and in the middle of a scene, I said, “Stop. I’m just not feeling it. I just feel off.” Kelly said, “It’s probably because we didn’t start off with a prayer.” She was right! She offered the prayer and then I asked if someone would share a spiritual moment. I needed to be in the zone. Kelly had an experience of when she worked behind the scenes at the Mesa Easter Pageant. It was a beautiful moment… (I think I’m going to have her type it up and share it

with me… and then I’ll share it with you) … Anyways, that was what I needed. We shot the last take and that was the one! It, again, reminded me that this is the Lord’s work. And I needed his Spirit in each part. Doing it on my own, because I want to, doesn’t bring the same beauty and spirit and as inviting the Spirit of the Lord first and then going forward. It was a beautiful reminder to me. It was a beautiful ending to all of my experiences.

I’m grateful that Mark was by my side through all this! He listened to my ideas, he trusted my directions, he helped me when I needed feedback and was a trusted friend through all of this. I relied on and trusted in him for everything video and editing. I knew that if anyone could share this story how I hoped, it would be him! He did an absolutely beautiful job!

So although this was a piece I had hoped to portray in the Holy Land, the Lord taught me beautiful lessons along the way. And that was more important. I guess, in essence, the Lord brought the Holy Land to us. And regardless, the Spirit of the Lord can be with us, no matter where we are in the world… and the Spirit can be shared and felt through a video, no matter where we are in the world, and no matter the language we speak.

“Oh Lord, My Redeemer”

by Jeff Goodrich

Performed in ASL by Susan Layton

(Click on picture or title above to view video.)

MY HEART and MUCH GRATITUDE goes out to everyone involved in the process of making this video! The actors, sound crew, video crew, musicians, wardrobe, the “Deaf Eyes” crew, and my family … THANK YOU: Wilson and Holly Auman, Dallin Ashton, Jacob and Jessica Gurr, Barney and Beverly Hawkins, Neil, Wenonah and Clifford Holmes, Ryan Layton and children, Melissa Leitheiser, Shay and Kelly Lelegran, Missionaries: Elder Clegg, Elder Jackson, Elder Monteith, Elder Weber, Marsha and Douglas Moulton, Rob Nielson, Chad, Alora, Whitney and Parker Ostler, Linda Ostler, Joe and Starla Sapienza, Kay Walker, and of course, Penny and Mark Jones!

To Brother Jeff Goodrich: Thank you! THANK YOU for your inspiration to pen this beautiful music! THANK YOU for your love for the Savior that shows through this sacred hymn! THANK YOU for allowing me to share my testimony through your song! THANK YOU!!!

I am so grateful for the Savior of the world, even Jesus Christ! It was through Him that we have purpose. It is through Him that we have eternal life. It is through Him that we know how to live a life of true happiness. As we emulate His love, kindness, joy in service, joy in others, sacrifice and humility we will experience more joy than we could ever feel otherwise. It is through His sacred acts of love that we can become whole and we can live again after this life. There is nothing greater than these acts of love, His infinite Atonement and Resurrection. Oh Lord, My Redeemer! For Thou hast done so much for me!!! All my love I give to Thee!! THANK YOU!!!

My New Job …

April 1, 2015 / Susan / Comments Off

I’m almost the big 4-0!

big 40

A number I always thought I’d embrace, but now that it’s knocking at my door, I feel like I’m trying to roller-skate backwards, on ice, as fast as I can because a swarm of bumble-bees are headed straight towards me. “Aaack!” Are you with me? Haha. That!

As I turn a new chapter in my life, I am also reminded that I am not getting any younger. So with a lot of thought, I decided there is no better time to start a new job. I’m really excited. This job has been a dream job for a very long time. My duties as a mother, a wife are not secondary to my new job but stand equal to the duties of my new job; however, it is a job and it cannot take the back burner. It is a job that I have always wanted to do but for reasons, mostly created from my own fear or ability to stand up for myself, have never really been able to accomplish or sustain for long periods of time. My new job: PERSONAL CARE-TAKER!

Yes, my new job is to be my very own personal care taker! I hired me! And it’s a job I am taking seriously! Since starting my new job, I am a happier and stronger person. My motherly responsibilities are accomplished easier. My new job has created a more positive wife. Since starting this new position, the dividends have paid well: I am positive. My physical and mental health are stronger. I feel balanced. I …. accomplish! *Jaw drop!* (haha-but true!) I am happy. I am able.

Prior to accepting this new position, I felt either physically sick, down in the dumps, or fatigued. Every day, I would be taken back to the days I felt strong and able to do what I wanted to do. Oh yes, I knew exactly what helped me: exercise and eating healthy. But I feel like I have tried to get back to doing that, but was overwhelmed with the almost impossible task at hand. Something was in my way, mentally. I finally got to the point *clap clap* that I would eat a healthy breakfast and a healthy dinner, but everything in between I consumed what was easy, fast, and often “oh my, I’ll just make a PBJ for me too” because I’m too (blank: tired, busy, overwhelmed, or just don’t want to bother with healthy). But why did I still feel sick, tired, or whatever other ‘blah’ feeling? As far as exercise, I had really great intentions, ALL of the time! But if I’m honest with myself, and you, those great intentions came with their own set of “IF’s” … “if I could fit in the time”, “if I didn’t need a nap”, “if I didn’t have to work early that day”, “if…. if…. if….”. I never really thought those excuses, they just kinda happened naturally. Sometimes I really did get in a run and I would feel ON TOP of the world! Then I’d think, I’ll do that again tomorrow cuz that was awesome! Do you know what I’m talking about?

Fast forward to a Sunday, not too long ago. Church had just finished and a sweet friend (and AMAZING cook) asked if our family would join theirs for dinner. Oh wow, of course! We’d love that! … The food was amazing, as always! Our visit was just splendid, as always! … And then, my intestines or something inside of me felt like they were being strangled and twisted in tight fists! It was one of the worst pains I had ever felt. It went on and on… I didn’t know what to do. It finally calmed down but within a few seconds, it started up again. Slowly the feeling moved to the center of my innards. And then back to the side again. It went on for almost an hour! It finally settled to where I could stand. The pain, though not as excruciating, continued over the next 5+ days. That made me reconsider my struggles with food and exercise. That was my “AHA!” moment!

Why did I wait till I had so much pain, (I even considered going to the hospital … and for anyone who knows me, I will do anything not to go to a doctor or hospital! Ha), to put MY needs first?

The day after the severe attack, I said, I am hiring a personal care-taker. I am hiring ME! Because I KNOW what it is I NEED! I KNOW what I CAN do! I KNOW how STRONG I am! I AM the best candidate! I am tired of feeling sick. I am tired of feeling tired. I am tired of being put last on my very own list! I AM STANDING UP FOR ME NOW!

Exercise Quote

Within those 6+ days of pain, I ate healthy and exercised, without fail! What resulted was feeling stronger. I developed an “I CAN” attitude, an “I HAVE TO” slogan, an “I LOVE MY FAMILY ENOUGH TO…” mentality, an “THEY WILL LOVE ME FOR IT” and “I WILL LOVE ME FOR IT” thought process. This is a JOB! I go to work each day. And if you notice its not work with quotation marks. Because “work” to me means “wink wink – haha – isn’t that cute? I’m going to “work”” … And I’ve decided its not that kind of work. This is a job! No exception, no excuses. It comes regardless of my other jobs, employed inside/outside of my home.

I decided I COULD come up with every excuse “not to” but I have used up all those excuses, and it turns out, none of them love me back!

I am getting older. Life is carrying on. And it will carry on with or without me. I want to be here as long as I can. The only way for that to happen, and to minimize the aches, pains, sad faces, and all that I can control, and as long as the good Lord will let me stay, is for me to excel at my new job. 😀

The Big D – Exercise???

March 27, 2015 / Susan / Comments Off / Sticky

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, therapist, or anything of the sort. For all medical, fitness or therapeutic information/advice/plan, seek professional help.

For most people who suffer from The Big D, aka Depression, exercise is either the last thing on their list, or first thing on their list, but rarely gets checked off.

Research articles, by the dozens, have discussed the BENEFITS OF EXERCISE for those who suffer from mental illness such as depression.

HOW IN THE WORLD DOES EXERCISE HELP ONE WHO IS DEPRESSED?

When you exercise, endorphins are released. Endorphins trigger positive feelings, and are a stress reducer brain chemical. There are also other brain power chemicals that are released to aid in fighting stress and anxiety. EXERCISE IS CRUCIAL … for your well-being, your health, and to get your imbalanced self balanced!

WHAT EXERCISE CAN I DO?

1. Walk

Take a pet for a walk. Not only will the benefits of exercise help you but also getting out where the sun is shining (which means getting a good dose of Vitamin D) and focusing on your pet that you care for.

Meet a friend for a walk. Your friend can help you stay accountable too, and help you even in times of depression. Having a friend that you can count on is key when it comes to depression.

2. Aerobic

DVDs There are many cardio/aerobic videos to choose from, so find one that works for you! My favorite are the Biggest Loser DVDs – I especially love the Cardio Max one.

Join a class. Look for free classes around your neighborhood. My neighborhood hosts a class M-F and there are 5 ladies who volunteer to teach 1-2 days each week. M/W is either Kickboxing or general aerobics, T/TH is Zumba, F is Step class.

3. Swim

Where I live, swimming costs money. That’s not as big of a deal when I’m well, because I can reason. I spend the money to keep me on my plan, balanced, healthy, endorphin happy. So that’s when I make a reasonable purchase. Of course, I buy a plan that I can afford and if possible to cover the times I know I need to help me in the future. So if winter is coming, I buy my pass in the summer to last me through winter. But for me, I need a friend to get me through the winter, so I find someone ahead of time for that too.

I have searched the internet over and over. What I found is that SwimOutlet.com has awesome products with unbeatable prices! Nothing beats them. We get everything there. I don’t even bother looking anywhere else anymore. And if I do, I always end up returning there! Ha.

4. Run

I love to run. I was not a runner until about 2010. My daughter joined a running club at school and they were preparing for a 5k. I thought I’d try and do it with her. At first, I thought, “what did I get myself into?” But I kept with it and I got stronger and stronger. Where I live now, my treadmill helps me through the winter and my down times (just to get me moving – run or walk). (I bought my treadmill off of Craigslist – You can also look on Amazon for treadmills). Regardless if I run on pavement or treadmill, seeing what I ran helps me feel accomplished. Use a pedometer or a tracking device like the FitBit is a great tool. But these are just tools… with or without tools, GET OUT AND GET EXERCISE!

5. Gardening

Vitamin D, moving, shedding calories, and beautifying your landscape are all the wonderful benefits from gardening. “Creating” helps depression!

6. Bike

Biking has many benefits. If you have a bike, use it. Get out, get some Vitamin D, get the exercise you need, your heart pumping, fresh air, and take in the nature all around you. You will be grateful you did! If you need some “equipment” to go with your bike, check out SwimOutlet.com (yeah, weird.. but I know they sell quality products – even for biking) or Amazon.

You might also want to consider a stationary bike. If you are on light therapy, put your box next to your bike or treadmill and reap the benefits for both exercise and light at the same time, all year round!

7. Dance/Zumba

I was “for sure” that I was not a Zumba fan … until I joined our little neighborhood exercise classes. Zumba was a regular Tuesday and Thursday class offered there. Holy moley! I LOVE ZUMBA!!! It just gets you moving, you feel free, and it is FUN! Find a class or buy some DVDs and Zumba at home! It’s one of my very favorite things to do!

8. Yoga

Yoga is really awesome. I am not a regular Yoga gal but when I am really down, that is sometimes all I can do. I need that inner breathing and taking my time to take care of me. After I feel a little more settled and I can keep going. It was worth a try for me. Maybe you too? I bought all my yoga DVDs and supplies from Amazon. Your community might offer yoga classes. Something to consider for sure!!!

9. Lift Weights

I feel strong when I lift weights. I feel empowered. Options for weights – use canned food at home, use a filled backpack, check out thrift stores for weights, specialty exercise stores, or find them on Amazon. Our family used what we had while we saved up and bought the adjustable unit, so we didn’t have tons of weights laying around. The adjustable units that we like are the PowerBlock Dumbbells and Kettle blocks. Do you have to have those? No. Use a can of refried beans or anything in your cupboard. Perfectly acceptable and effective!!!!

10. Bounce – Mini (Fitness) Trampoline

Jump, jump, jump. What a great exercise! You can jump, bounce, walk in place, dance. Mini trampolines are so versatile!

11. Jumprope

Jump roping makes me smile. Sometimes a smile is what I need. I feel like a kid again – while getting the exercise I need. It gets my heart pumping which is so important when it comes to depression! My kids love it too… so they are my little motivators.

12. Kickboxing

Oh yeah! One of my favorite. I love it especially cuz I HATE the periods of depression that I have to go through. So for me this is ALWAYS a good thing – I PUNCH and KICK and then just focus on the moves. I get out of my head. I feel strong. I feel I can kick this disease to the curb. Does it cure me after my session? No, but it helps!!!! There are kickboxing DVDs and kickboxing equipment like bags (hanging or free-standing). I own the Everlast Cardio Strike Bag Kit (DVD, gloves and bag) and I L-O-V-E it! Kickboxing is not a one time a month thing tho. Your muscles will be sore when you first start, so continue to build your strength by doing this regularly. That’s the last thing you want – is to do it while you have an episode of depression and then can’t or don’t want to get up for the days following… build yourself up!

Game Plan

March 27, 2015 / Susan / Comments Off

I was talking with my sister not long ago, about my eating, and I said, “Today I am doing good .. This last week has been hard because I was filming out of town, and then I got back home and the weather was not my friend. So I went from not cooking for myself to welcome home, here’s your cloak of depression.” I know the food that I was eating the weekend before did not help my situation when I got home. She suggested that I need to have a pre-film plan to keep me eating right and a pre-game plan for when unexpected depression hits.

Game Plan2

If I’m going out of town or know that stuff that is not on my ‘okay-to-eat’ list will be graciously put before me, to be frank with people. She said this (and I quote– cuz I love this response so much): “The people (even your friends) who cook for you will understand if you vocalize even more about your food needs and why. Tell them of your experiences afterwards. … I bet they will want to help by making sure you eat on plan throughout recordings. People will understand when you are pleading for their help. They love you … plus … figuring out a plan to help yourself will just help them too.” My point with this story is that when depression hits, it is the most difficult thing to reason with yourself and say, “I should eat healthy because it helps my brain be happy and will help my depression” .. You mostly feel like: “Eat? Whatever. Fine. What is out that I can put in my mouth. (Notice there is no question mark – it is a statement.) If nothing, forget it!” It is difficult to reason! A Pre-Game Plan … okay! I am well today and can do that! Tell people who may be cooking for me out of town (aka my friends) and tell my family that when I’m down with depression, that I can only eat XYZ (healthy food only on the list) – I need my family to know that when I’m down its not “a free-day, mom’s not cooking, we can eat whatever” …. cuz then I eat whatever, the cycle continues. It’s vicious! PRE-GAME PLAN!

The Big D – Let’s talk food …

March 26, 2015 / Susan / Comments Off / Sticky

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, therapist, or anything of the sort. For all medical, fitness or therapeutic information/advice/plan, seek professional help.

When it comes to food, we live in a very convenient society! Of course, the things that come to mind first are the obvious: fast food restaurants and microwave dinners. But if you think of it, the delicious dinners that Costco cooks for us (and I love Costco!!), the neighborhood pizzeria, box of crackers, “fruit” snacks, chips, macaroni and cheese and other pastas, soda fountains and the cute little donuts at the gas station all offer our taste buds a bit of delight for a few moments but are highly processed, are loaded with sugars, sodium and fat, and (obviously) offer a poor diet that can lead to OR exasperate what many of us suffer from: depression.

Research and articles from the Mayo Clinic, Psychology Today, Prevention magazine, WebMD and other sources state time and again that what we eat has a DIRECT IMPACT on our well-being. Then why do we feed ourselves these platefuls of unhappiness, discouragement and not to mention, more weight? I’m guilty too! It’s hard. Processed food is convenient. Oh yeah, I know all the excuses in the book! But from poor eating comes nutritionally imbalanced people! … (Depression loves nutritionally imbalanced people. Ugh!)

In my own personal research, through learning from professional sources, through therapy and journaling, I have found that this convenient food that I am eating is really tearing me down while filling me up. I guess, in essence, I am digging my own grave, physically and psychologically, with the very spoon I eat.

WHAT IS IT THAT WE NEED?

To start with, NUTRIENTS. (The foods we consume that are “fortified with nutrients and vitamins” really start off pretty bad so adding a little good doesn’t erase the bad. Heh.) We can, HOWEVER, eat our nutrients a better way! THINK HIGH NUTRIENTS! Oh, this list may seem so cut and dry. It kind of is. Don’t get me wrong, I get it! Especially when you are down it is hard (and sometimes even a task that feels impossible) to think passed the cloud and muck you are consumed in, but we gotta figure a way to EAT THEM!

1. Increase your fruits and vegetables.

Add fruit (fresh or frozen) to your morning oatmeal. Some carrots or cucumbers for lunch. A salad with your dinner. Baby steps is okay! GET THEM DOWN and pat yourself on the back. Tomorrow, do it again. When you can, add an extra fruit/vegetable to your plate. Rejoice every time!

2. Eat your essential antioxidants.

Blueberries, apricots, broccoli, strawberries, cantaloupe, spinach, grapefruit, nuts, seeds, kiwi, oranges, peaches, peppers, tomatoes, carrots, wheat germ (sprinkle that on your oatmeal), etc.

These will reduce the free radical damage in the brain. Yeah, we need that!

3. Reduce the amount of carbs.

The carbs you eat need to be COMPLEX: whole grains, fruits, vegs, legumes …

Did you know that there is a connection between carbs and mood? They are linked to the levels of serotonin in the brain! That is why when we are depressed, we eat more carbs, more breads, more cookies – we are feeding the mood. Which means to turn around the mood, we must be careful on the amount and types of carbs we consume – so we don’t feed the mood.

4. Limit sugary foods.

The sugars in cereals, breads, cookies, cakes, candy, etc, decrease the serotonin in our brains! .. If you don’t know, that’s the happy stuff. Eeek. That means, sugar lessens our happy brain power. That’s bad.

5. Eat protein-rich foods several times a day.

Fish, poultry, beans and peas, low-fat milk, cheese, yogurt.

Eating protein-rich foods boosts the dopamine in the brain. Those who experience depression often feel the desire to sleep more or to be alone, maybe even in a dark room. Your dopamine levels are probably low! … Add protein-rich foods to help up your alertness, energy level and mood!

6. Get plenty of Vitamin D, Vitamin D, Vitamin D!

Vitamin supplements, light therapy, the sun. Those who are affected by depression are likely to be deficient or very deficient in Vitamin D. Talk with your doctor to find how much Vitamin D you need.

7. Include Omega-3 Fatty Acids.

Salmon, Tuna, Flaxseed (you can buy it pre-ground and add to your oatmeal or over your salad), nuts, avocados, dark-leafy greens. Oh boy, that sounds like a great salad!

AVOID:

1. Caffeine, alcohol, high-calorie/low-nutrient (processed, high-sugar foods), vegetable shortening/margarines (including the kind they cook our potato chips in), artificial sweeteners… Consuming these products deplete the good and increase the bad. No bueno!

FOOD can be hard to master … especially for those who are imbalanced to start with! Wherever you are in your journey of life, take my advice and follow the above. Start with baby steps if you have to! Just start. The more healthy you eat, the better off you will be!

Although starting can be difficult, I KNOW from personal experience, that eating healthy and nutritious foods, as well as limiting food that should be limited, and avoiding the other stuff does, in fact, HELP with depression. Nutritious food is part of my “medication” regimen. It’s a must …. EVERY DAY!

Preparing = Peace

March 24, 2015 / Susan / Comments Off

You know, one thing that I am very passionate about is emergency preparedness! Growing up, my family had a 72-hour kit. We never needed to use it. But I always felt that if something were to happen, we would be okay, because we were prepared. That was a huge lesson I learned as a kid, in kid shoes, for me now as a parent, in parent shoes. I want that same peace for my children/family. I want my kids to feel that sense of relief like I felt as a kid! I don’t want them to worry. I don’t want them to be afraid when an emergency happens. Peace comes from being prepared! And that’s why it is a passion of mine!

In preparing, it’s always been important to me to have a place that I can trust with quality products. Several years ago when my husband and I began our quest to prepare, we shopped around to find the best prices, quality products and a company that cared for me and my family. We stumbled upon Emergency Essentials and have never looked anywhere else since! It’s home for us! It’s one of my most favorite places, websites to visit, and I get so excited when I get an email from them (because I can’t wait to see what’s on sale this week or this month)! I … LOVE … EE!!!

Check them out here and help your family find that peace that only preparedness can give you!

The Lord said, “Youth song”. I said, “Which?” …

November 10, 2014 / Susan / Comments Off

The ASL “EFY Medley: As Sister’s in Zion & We’ll Bring the World His Truth” didn’t come about by thumbing through sheet music. It was another lesson on what the Lord wanted me to do. The Lord had everything planned!

For a couple of weeks, I had the thought come to me that I needed to film a song – geared especially for youth. So, I started to do my research. Nothing was popping out at me like, “THIS IS THE ONE!” Every day I would listen to songs on YouTube, CD’s, Pandora, wherever I could. I went to the bookstores and thumbed through CD’s and sheet music. I went to music artists websites and fished through their pieces. But as time went on, the pressure to film a piece, geared towards youth, became more and more prominent. The best way for me to describe it was like a backpack on one shoulder being filled with 10 bricks at a time – nothing coming out, only being put in.

ASIZ Blog Pix1

The impression to find that piece came more stronger and stronger each day. I remember I finally told my husband at the dinner table one night, I need to find this song! He said, “GO! If the Lord needs it now, you need to find it now!” So I left the dinner table and went to my bed and prayed. I remember saying, “Heavenly Father, I know Thou needs me to do this song but I can not find it! I have searched high and low and I just don’t know which one!” The thought came to me, “Look in your bag next to your bed”. I finished my prayer and looked in the bag. There was a sheet of music that a friend from church gave to me the past Sunday. She had asked if I could teach the youth how to sign it for an upcoming church meeting. I remember saying sure and put it in my bag. I looked at this and said “really??” It didn’t seem to hit me. But the thought came to me to find it on YouTube. The moment the song began to play, the Spirit was so strong and I began to cry! I knew this was it!

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I emailed Michael Hicks and told him I really felt I needed to film this song. (I didn’t know him, he didn’t know me). In less than 15 minutes later, I received an email back from him saying, “You were truly inspired!” THAT EVENING, he was to wrap up a compilation video featuring all of the youth around the world performing this song! He felt there was one more he was missing but didn’t know where to find it, so he was going to wrap it up without it. I remember falling to my knees thanking my Heavenly Father for the guidance and inspiration… from getting this EFY Medley into my hands, to contacting Brother Hicks, to the funding, the food, getting permits and then to filming it! I’m still amazed at how it all worked out so beautifully, so perfectly!

Filming took place on two consecutive Saturdays at 9 different locations.

The first Saturday was filming the youth while they did their service projects. That was really special seeing these youth give of their hearts, their time, their talents, laughs and smiles. Each of these young men and young women are really amazing, inside and out! The recipients were so gracious and so grateful for the service that each provided!

The second Saturday was filming at Pioneer Park in St. George, Utah. It was a gorgeous day but by the early afternoon, it was so hot! Our cameras were even overheating! We had to place them on ice for a few minutes at a time and then alternate with the other camera, until we were finished shooting! I was grateful for all those coolers and many pounds of ice! 😀 I think the youth were too! 🙂 Although it was SO hot that day, not one of these youth complained – not even one little bit! They were positive, happy, encouraging, moved where I needed them to without hesitation, started, stopped, redid, laughed, hugged, cleaned up and so much more I don’t even have room to share. In the ‘making of’ video I said these youth were “ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!” and that is nothing but the truth!

After we had completed our second day of shooting and everything was packed up and we pulled away, it began to rain… and then to pour! Seeing how the Lord put everything into place each step of the way, and here again, holding the rain and even the clouds until we were completely done with shooting was a miracle! I couldn’t help but pull over my car and say a prayer of gratitude for a magnificent day!

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I was exhausted but happy! I got home and began to edit. I soon realized I failed to film one part of the Young Women. I thought, “Oh no! How can I ask them to come and film again! They were so tired and did so much!” But I couldn’t do without that part, so I called each of the Young Women and asked if they’d be willing to meet at the Temple in Sunday clothes? They did not hesitate. They said, “SURE! What time?” I got what I needed and put it all together!

After I was finished with all of the editing, I sent it over to Brother Hicks for his approval. He sent back a message “tears of joy!”

How? How did this all happen? I am not a videographer. Those who are videographers could not be there to help me. Again, on my knees, the Lord said, “YOU will do it!” Yes, I had that frightening face and panic feeling like, “ARE YOU CRAZY? ME??” And since that was his final answer, I began my intense research on techniques, angles, lighting, movement, and anything else I could. The Lord really guided me. I prayed it would work out. I prayed it would be something He would be proud of as well as Brother Hicks, and those youth. I prayed the video would touch many hearts – especially the youth in the world.

This is just another testament of the power of prayer. I know God knows each of us. He has a plan for each of us too. And I learned that sometimes things are not comfortable but if the Lord needs us to do it, we just need to do it. Ask for help, He will guide us and it will be perfect in His eyes. I can still feel that feeling of walking in the dark but holding His hands. Each step was illuminated. Looking back, their was never a wrong road when I followed His promptings. A little scary but always on the right road!

Click here to see the amazing youth around the world perform “EFY Medley Around the World” by Michael R. Hicks. You will see our clip in there about 4:02 and 5:30.

Click here to watch the ‘ASL “EFY Medley: As Sisters in Zion & We’ll Bring the World His Truth”‘.

Click here to watch the “ASL EFY Filming Highlights”.

I want to thank everyone for all of your support throughout this entire process! Amazing youth, parents, leaders, volunteers, those who willingly gave of their funds to support the filming, Port of Subs on the Boulevard, Bill Swensen with the City of St. George, service recipients, cooler and umbrella donors, my amazing husband and family, and all others who helped me get through this and make it as wonderful as it is! I love you! HUGS!

Sincerely,

Susan

Learning Of My Worth – Without the $ Sign

August 27, 2014 / Susan / Comments Off

Creating videos gives me an opportunity to share music with many people in a different way than they may have experienced it before. Each video has cost me a different amount of money, depending on my videographer, the location I shoot, the number of people in the video, and so forth. Although I want to make a living performing, it hasn’t happened yet. At one point, I thought if I could put together a fundraiser, then I could create more videos in less time, and perhaps make that transition sooner than later. I did a lot of research on how much each video should cost, including location fees, videographer fees, etc. I had to calculate into my fundraising goal the fundraising site fees as well. I set the online fundraiser up and push the green button to make it public, dreaming and hoping of great success. During this time, I struggled with serious self doubt, depression, and other emotional baggage. It was a very difficult time for me. I had been dealing with depression in small bouts before I began the fundraiser but as my fundraiser progressed, it became clear, in my eyes, that I truly was a failure. ‘Failure’ was evident with the very little money being donated to this cause . Regardless of the desire and passion I had to make this a success, this project was of no value and I was of no value. It was dark for me, even though I wanted to be enrobed in the heavenly light, with money pouring in. As I began to heal from this terrible depression, I learned that the money doesn’t define me. Whether I got millions or nothing, I was of value. What I offer as a performer is of great value. I began to look at comments from my videos, think about conversations I’ve had with people all over the world, the feeling that is present when I perform, and then the number of ‘shares’ that each video has had and even this fundraiser. What I offer is of great value. I am of great value. This project doesn’t define me. Money raised doesn’t define me. Although that fundraiser did not hit its mark, nor even close to it, I have to say it was a success, in a different way than I expected. The fundraiser got a lot of exposure. A few private donations came filtering through. And I found out who I am. That was, perhaps, the success I needed to have at that time. Each of those were blessings, but understanding my value, my worth was I needed most at that time. Of course, I pray more will come. More videos, more money, more success. For now, I will keep making videos with the budget and time that I have. Through it all, I’m grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that knows what I need, when I need it, and lets me learn it, even the hard way!… sometimes that’s the only way! Smile.

Here was the footage from my fundraising campaign. 🙂

(Sorry the file was too big, so it’s broken up into 6 parts.)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Whatever you do in life, whatever your passion is, whatever your goals, don’t ever feel like you are not good enough. You are. You were made to be great. If you feel like you are of no value, find a professional counselor, a trusted friend, a church leader, and learn who you are. Work, success, money, or anything of the like, should not define you. Being you is the only thing you should worry about. Because that defines you. And you are of worth, no matter what!

Interviews with Penny Jones (3)

August 27, 2014 / Susan / Comments Off

Penny Jones interviews three uniquely different people, asking each to share their own testimonials of the talent of Susan, as an ASL Performer. Those thoughts are shared below. In each section, videos of those interviews are included.

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INTERVIEW WITH AMBER HANSEN

In an interview with Penny Jones, Amber shares her feelings of what Susan offers as an ASL Performer.